I got back into town Sunday evening. Wow. California. Nice place but I wouldn’t want to live there.

One of the first things that Harrison told me when I got there was ‘All the men here are complete pussies’. Then he recounted how they behaved like spineless freaks when confronted by women. You know that annoying behavior – they just sit there and stare at women when in social situations rather than talk to them. AND THEN they go home and brag to their friends.

That disgusts me.

Other observations from my trip to California:

• Guys are cheap motherf*ckers. On more than one occaission I heard that women bought rounds of drinks and the men went ahead and drank but didn’t reciprocate the act in kind. Assholes. Worthless, stupid assholes. No wonder most of the women I encountered there were over West Coast men.
• Harrison warned me about them and he was right: California women are aggressive.  I went to a party on Saturday night and it was packed with people.  I was dressed in what I thought was casual – long sleeve button down shirt, untucked, distressed jeans and a sensible pair of shoes – and Harrison thought I was over dressed. During the evening, one of the women in our group took it upon herself to tell me that I was cute and then she unbuttoned my shirt. Luckily, I had an undershirt on.
• You have to drive such long distances to get from one place to another. Maybe it is the same here in Northern Virginia but the distances just seemed so far; driving through the hills and what not gave the impression that I was on a journey that had no ending.
• While on an airplane: I have my headphones on and my iPhone is on. Leave me alone, ass clowns. I could give a rat’s ass if it is the first iPhone you’ve seen that someone has used many of the functions. Shit, I could care less if Prometheus was bringing your barbaric asses fire. Don’t talk to me. Just leave me alone. The ear buds in my ears? That’s like the seat belt light going on in the plane. It signifies “Don’t fuck with the angry bear.”
• Speaking of airplanes, I had some of the largest and weirdest boogies in my nose. Yeah, you know you have to pick after a flight, too. It felt like I was pulling a manta ray out of my nose. Was it the recirculated air? Was it the west coast environment? Did I dig too far and actually started to scrape my brain?
• Harrison, Debbie & Jane brought me to Yogurtland. That was cool.
• Me + drink + moving car + night = one useless navigator. Sorry, Harrison. You’ll have to find your way home using a sextant and the stars. My shit kept passing out.

That’s it for my quick rant. Regular article after this damn Fiscal Year ends and I have more time.