I’m not talking about sexually transmitted diseases, you pervs. I’m talking about Valentine’s Day. Me and the pooches and the cats will be spending it at home alone tonight because Angela is off to Florida on a business trip. So, if you’re a hooker or a stripper feel free to contact me 🙂
It will be a little lonely without her around. Valentine’s Day without your sweetie. Oh, I feel so empty now – just me and the pets in our dark, quiet house. Really, if anyone is feeling a little bit sorry for my pathetic self and wants to come over feel free to. Especially if you’re a hooker or a stripper. What?! I’m focused like a laser! You can’t blame me for trying, can you?
I like how in Japan they put the onus of Valentine’s Day on women. A woman/girl is supposed to go out and buy the guy that she likes a box of chocolate (honmei choco). Giri choco is bought for male co-workers, superiors, and the like. Honmei choco is for that very, very special guy. The guy, in turn, is supposed to give his sweetheart chocolate one month later on ‘White Day’. Those Japanese are never ones to turn away some means to make a buck. Lord knows it complicates matters.
One of these days I’m going to go out and buy those little Valentine’s Day cards that we all used to get as kids. You know, the ones with the Superfriends or Strawberry Shortcake. And then I’m going to send them to my friends. Hopefully they won’t think of it as sexual harassment. Especially if they’re guys.
Ah, well. The pets and I are just happy to have a fridge filled with Chinese take-out left overs. We’ll be parking our butts in the living room or the den watching some really bad television and pining away for Angela to come home. Just us. All alone. In that big, king sized bed – cold and missing a warm body next to us.
(if you’re a hooker or a stripper, feel free to look up my contact info)