If you ask people to describe me it sometimes seems like two completely different people are being described. Some people think I’m always crabby or angry and that I don’t like anything; others would say that I’m always happy, kind and generous. It really isn’t hard to see why some people would find me aloof, boorish and inconsiderate while and yet others would find me caring, polite and personable.

I’ll give you a big hint on figuring out what kind of person I am: look at how I treat Halloween.

Halloween is just over two weeks away and I cannot count the number of times I’ve expressed how much I dread children coming to my house asking for candy. Many times it is because I don’t want to have to deal with my dogs being agitated by constant doorbell ringing. I will curse and fret and be the biggest curmudgeon when it comes to the rugrats coming up my walkway and to my house. Stay off my lawn, you evil little meat bags!

However, I’m a firm believer in a man’s actions meaning more than his words.

While I’m belly aching about children coming to my doorstep more often than not it will be while I’m decorating my house so that they know that my home is trick-or-treat friendly. I’ll be stringing pumpkin and spider lights along my porch and bushes, making sure that it looks appropriately Halloweeny but not scary. Why? Because I don’t want to frighten the very young children who come up to my home.

Every year I would rail against Halloween and every year I would take great joy decorating my home. I would always put a lot of thought into the holiday, making sure that my home was well lit and that stocked with all sorts of candies and toys. The thought of children of all ages walking up to my steps and would get me excited because I loved seeing their expressions when I would tell them, “Take as much as you want! Here! Have some glow-sticks to keep you safe!”

Oh, and the treat shopping! THE TREAT SHOPPING!! I would take delight in buying toys for the children who had food allergies or who were too young to have candy. I would buy weird candy and trinkets so that anyone who visited would walk away happy with their Halloween booty.

Hell, typing this out is making me smile.

Every year a part of me would come alive knowing that complete strangers would come to my house and for the briefest of moments be amused and share a laugh with me. Every year I’d sit on my porch and anxiously wait for each successive wave of children that I would make smile.

• “How many will I get this year?”
• “Did I get enough?”
• “Am I sure I got something for any kids with special needs?”
• “Did I buy enough glow sticks and inexpensive flashlights to give away and make sure the kids were safely seen?”

So, there you have it. Even though I would grumble and hem and haw about Halloween I would go out of my way to make it something special for my little house in my little neighborhood.  And that’s what made me – the grouchy old fart – happy.

Every year Halloween would kick off the season which made me feel like an empty place in my soul was filled with happiness. Happiness that I got to share with others.

And that, my friends, is who I am.