So, here it is. Thanksgiving is upon us and it is the American holiday where we give thanks. I’m not going to go into the historical aspects of it. If you want to know about the bountiful harvest or the giant robotic Turkey that almost destroyed Plymouth Rock but was defeated by the Pilgrims and Indians, then you’ll have to search elsewhere.
So, what am I thankful for? There are many things:
- I have a beautiful, intelligent wife and a family of pets that provide me an eternity of joy
- my parents are retired and doing well
- my sisters live close to me
- my pets are spoiled and happy and healthy
- Woofies for taking such wonderful care of my little ones
- people find me interesting enough to hire me, so I’m NEVER worried about being unemployed
- my friends understand that my love for them is a genuine love and none of this fake love that’s been popping up in area Wal-Marts
- I have my health
- my wife puts up with my shenannigans
- women come in all different shapes and sizes
- I’m an American
- one of my cousins finally got it through their head and has joined the military
- Sex (oh, like you wouldn’t be thankful for getting any).
- the internet
- being alive
I’m sure I could go on and on and on, but that would be just downright boring.
Friday is rolling around and it is normally construed as ‘Black Friday’ – the busiest shopping day of the year. I CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS DAY! I am going to go shop before I go into work. I NEED STUFF. Oh, I completely adore this time of the year! I love seeing all the other schmucks who wake up to this early and try to get a jump on their shopping. Hilarity, I say! Bargains I say even louder!
I just wish that I could drag my brunette harem out with me to enjoy it. It would be so much fun tromping around with Lila, Lisa, Sarah and Rhonda (and sometimes Sue) early in the morning. But alas, I don’t get to see or talk to them as much as I would like to.
Ah, well. Onward, ugly Americans! Let’s go stuff ourselves with food to make us sleepy, football and basketball games and the anticipation of stellar shopping deals tomorrow.
[…] Ok, children. Gather around. It is time that I tell the story of Thanksgiving. You may remember me alluding to it last year (http://designkitty.com/?p=36). This year, I’ve decided to go ahead and recount to you this Great American Holiday (GAH!). You may hear some poppycock about Pilgrims and Indians and a cold, devastating winter and whatnot. That’s all fine and well and good but let’s face it: the only reason they tell little children that stuff is because the truth – THE TRUTH – is probably more than they can handle with their pea sized kid brains. I, on the other hand, have far too much respect for children (snicker) and think that they should hear the story of an American legend. […]