I was wandering my list of blogs and just reading through them. I remember my friend Deb mentioning in one of her posts the use of single themes for poetry/poetry books. I thought to myself, “Self, this may not work for others but maybe it can work for us!”. So today I am going to start my next several posts embracing the theme of ‘The Seven Deadly Sins’. I mean, come on – it is in the title, you know.

Gluttony

Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires. By now, you must know that I probably sinned a lot over the years. Think about it – in the past month alone I’ve written about Easter candies and going to the Old Country Buffet. Well, my latest transgression is the following: JollyTime Mallow Magic Popcorn. By all that is unholy I think that the inventors of this stuff sit in a room and just throw together flavors.

Inventor #1: We need a new popcorn flavor that will appeal to brainless children and stupid, creeping on middle age Asian men.

Inventor #2: Um… marshmallow popcorn?

Inventor #1: Brilliant!

I picked this up while Angela and I went to the grocery store. She had this look of disgust while I had this look of finding a treasure. She wanted absolutely nothing to do with it. She decided that weekend that she was going to go visit her parents. I decided that it was the perfect time to try out my culinary delight.

Mallow Magic comes with a microwavable popcorn bag and then a packet of liquidy marshmallow stuff. When popping the corn itself has a sickly sweet smell to it. When the corn is done, you take it out, put it in a bowl and then you pour the contents of marshmallow packet all over it. This is just bad, plain old bad. The smell was so sweet and intense I thought that I would have to microwave one of my dog’s turds just to get the smell out. The white liquid goes on unevenly.

The dogs and I decided to go downstairs and watch dvds on the bigscreen television. Sticking your hand in this concoction was horrible. Your fingers get all sorts of sticky and the popcorn will either have very little mallow topping, no mallow topping or the corn will be 90% disintegrated due to the abundance of mallow topping. It made my teeth hurt and cause at least two gag reflexes.

Time to finish the bag: about 33 minutes.

What?! You thought I would throw it away and waste it?