Oh, that Playboy. Remember when you would take the opportunity to steal a glance at your Dad’s copies? You know…to read the articles. It felt like you were entering a world that was kept secret by adults because, well, it was porn. Softcore porn, but porn nonetheless. You would start by carefully inspecting the cover in order to find out where the hidden rabbit head was. After mulling over the articles and reading the jokes page you would thumb through it and search out the cartoons that were throughout the magazine.

Who am I kidding? When you were younger you’d be happy that you got your grubby little hands on a copy so you could ogle the boobies. Well, I did. When I got into college I remember collecting the ones with a young, vibrant Pam Anderson and then eventually giving them to my friend Mike. Life was a lot harder for us back then what with finding ways to scarf copies of Playboy or trying to make out what was on the scrambled cable channels.

These days Playboy has become more mainstream and almost an oddity. It feels as if it teeters between the other, easier to purchase lad mags like Maxim or Loaded rather than that almost unattainable treasure of supple bodies and come hither looks. Playboy has diversified itself in many ways in order to embrace the new media paradigm by cultivating a successful online presence, streaming media and delving into investigative journalism.

Which brings us to Playboy’s aptly named Mike Guy who is the subject of their Lab Rat series. The following is his attempt to be waterboarded.

The recent brouhaha in the United States over what torture is or isn’t seems to be centered around semantics. “Enhanced interrogation techniques” seems to be a much easier to digest Orwellian phrase than, well, “torture”. Personally, I’m against it. Why? I’m not foolish enough to be like this Mike Guy and say that it is something that any person can endure for 15 seconds. I get freaked out when I accidentally inhale water while I’m at the beach or at the pool so why the Hell would I even think that I would be able to resist this?

The way I see it the current discussions about American waterboarding and interrogation techniques is so far out of my pay grade. Coupled with the fact that there is absolutely nothing that I could do to enhance or pursuade anyone to think about it one way or the other and you end up right where I am. Here. Square one. Sitting at my desk with absolutely no control how this is going to turn out. So, I’ll motor on with my life, merrily oblivious as to what that government has done in the past few years and I’ll go on about my life…thinking to myself “Motherfucker, I’m glad that wasn’t me.”