We live in an age where our attention spans get shorter and shorter. It’s gotten so bad that I’ve started tuning out television shows. Really, is there ANY good television left? Which is why I’ve started to appreciate commercials. They convey messages and emotions from anywhere between 5 seconds to a full minute. Or 22 minutes if you’re into infomercials (more on that another day). Plus, with a pet sitter’s schedule, being able to sit down and watch an entire program in its entirety during it’s scheduled time is a luxury.

I’ve also come to realize that this appreciation of commercials comes at a price: your will power. For all intents and purposes commercials are created to influence you to buy a service or a product or possibly advocate for a cause. Advertisers and advertising firms are banking on the fact that you will take something away from their commercial and have it lodged in your brain much like a sesame seed between your teeth after a morning bagel. It could be a song, an idea, imagery or a feeling. I’ve come to accept that and I whole heartedly went along my merry way, watching commercials, seeking them out online and gloriously recalling things like ‘Where’s the beef?’, ‘Who’s afraid of the ‘Noid?’. Did you know that at Eastern Motors your job’s your credit?

And then I saw this commercial for Oscar Mayer’s Lunchables:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Sure, it seems cute and fairly innocuous. Cute little girl walks a dog. Then she has other dogs. This is fine. Personally, the most dog’s I’ll take on at one time is 4-5, but that’s only if they’re from one household and they have the right disposition to be walked in a pack. I’ve seen other walkers here in NoVA and in New York walk A LOT of dogs at one time. They were adults and seemed capable so the thought of a little girl taking a few dogs out for a stroll made me cock my head to the side like my Berner waiting for a treat. Again, we’re talking about the alternate reality of a television commercial so I let it slide.

What pretty much infuriated me was the ending: little girl taking a pack of dogs out for their midday walk and letting them pull her as she wears roller skates.

Let’s never mind the fact that I don’t think a girl that young should be walking that many large dogs at one time. Let’s focus on the fact that what she’s doing is absolutely reckless. I know, I know: it’s television. But how is she supposed to stop? What is she going to do if they all get excited and decide to chase something or if they become aggressive?

What owner would agree to let their dog walker do this?!

Before I get pummeled for being self-righteous let me just point out the fact that I, too, have experience walking a pack of hounds. As well as running into trouble with them. Bonus points for me, though, for not wearing my roller skates.

This commercial is targeted at parents and their children. We all know that children are highly impressionable. I just don’t want to walk out of my house one day seeing someone’s kid being dragged down the street by a pack of dogs.