According to http://deadlysins.com/sins/, Pride is excessive belief in one’s own abilities, that interferes with the individual’s recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.

Yesterday, May 4th, 2006, was 36th my birthday. It seems like it took forever for me to get here – a place where I’m comfortable with myself. Saying that seems really weird when you consider that I spent the past 20+ years questioning who I was and what my role in the world would be. AS such, I can easily admit to something ‘Pride’. I’m fully confident in my abilities and I really don’t fear anything in the workplace. No matter what happens I know that I can push forward. I look at myself as an agent of change and I thirsted for change, movement, and ultimately progress. I also took pride with the fact that one of my biggest strengths is the ability to build cohesive, strong, productive teams.

These are the reasons why I left my last job. It was terrible – I felt ostracized and alone, like a leper. And the job itself was working with technology and methodologies that I had use…more than 10 years ago. Honestly, it was an environment that didn’t encourage growth or communication; it was a place that didn’t understand the importance of relationships between employees. Although convenient (5 min. from my house) it was a place that pretty much caused me to leave; my immediate supervisor didn’t have the gumption to discuss what was going on with my job, how I felt or even challenge me. In fact, it seems like he purposefully kept me out of meetings and kept information from me. As a webdeveloper/designer that pretty much dooms any initiative when you have to rely on second or third hand information. It was sad and I really didn’t feel like I belonged there; namely because they didn’t do anything whatsoever to make me feel like I belonged there.

In contrast, my former colleagues from past jobs did made me feel like I always have somewhere to go or someone to talk to. After talking earlier in the week Shannon and I were supposed to go out to lunch (hey, you jackass! you were supposed to call me!). And then lo and behold Angela set up a surprise party at Maggiano’s consisting of my old colleagues. These were people that I mentored, protected, laughed with and got drunk with. It makes me feel good knowing that they’re now my good friends. It was a grand old time with people that I hold very dear to me!

I take pride in this: forming bonds of friendship wherever I work that last well past the employment. Is it a sin? I guess that makes me a sinner. I feel like I was a teacher (hello, old teaching days!) and I saw my students graduate and move on to bigger and better things.

My confidence in my abilities and the very bad experience at my last job has also led me to this conclusion: I should probably leave the tech industry. I don’t think I’m going to go back to it and instead focus on other things. I’ll work my own business(es) and pursue my own interests. Remember – I’m an agent of change who really doesn’t fear much and, as I’ve said in the past, who bends his environment to fit me and my own style. For my colleauges, I would be more than happy to either take on a fight or go up to bat for them; bend over backwards and watch them grow. This is me and this is what I do. I come up with strategies and ideas, I politically slit other people’s throats, stab others in the face and build defenses for my interests. And I was damn good at it. I just feel like I’m meant to do something else now. Something where I can be appreciated.

I’ll always have my friends and my memories of working in the IT industry. It is something I’ll always be proud of.