The following post is from my good friend that I will call “RollerGirl”. Why do I call her that? First, it is the name of Heather Graham’s character in ‘Boogie Nights’. Second, whenever we talk about what we’re wearing, I tell her “Tube top. Hot pants. Rollerskates.”. There have been a few edits – mostly formatting and punctuation. However, the spirit of the post remains intact. It is an interesting view into the romantic aspirations of a Twenty-something.
So where might I begin? 1st off I sit here and ponder the thought of possibly being alone forever… For all of my girlfriends I know you want to be kicking my ass right now for saying this… (I see you shaking your head at me Jeanette! 😉 ) Although opportunity often knocks at my door I am never satisfied. What is it, is it him or me? Or just not the right person? I wonder if I am just too picky and too hard to please or if my expectations are just too high.
I swear at this point in my life I have been let down so many times that I honestly think I would rather be alone then settle for anything less then what I deserve or want. This next statement is not by ANY MEANS to sound cocky… But why is it so easy for almost every guy to “fall” for me, yet I do not do the same? Or I think Im falling and then a few months down the road the person does a 360 on me and becomes a totally different person. Believe me I hate this. I hate to hurt people and I hate letting people down and would never want to lose someone as a friend, but I almost always do so because it seems friendship most of the time is never good enough or too painful for the other party because they want more. Why is this?
This actually sometimes feels like a curse. On another note, this is more for you men: Where the heck has chivalry gone? What happened to the simple things like opening a door for your date or paying for dinner your first time out! HELLO! I am not singling all men out, but all to often lately I have seen not only myself treated poorly which I will not tolerate, but my girlfriends too. I don’t know how some of you have put up with the things you have! You ladies are saints! Or maybe you just pick your battles and those aren’t included.
I am blogging this because I’m sure the ones of you reading this are my friends, this is not intended to offend anyone or make anyone upset.. These are just my feelings and maybe someone could clue me in! I’m a little sad that I’m almost 26 and single, yet again. I feel like everyone around me is getting married and starting families. Does anyone else feel like I do or do I sound like a sad act of desperation? lol! (I’m really not) I mean I know I’m Irish and German, which equals a FUN stubborn drunk but will anyone ever make me happy? Hell does anyone want to try?
Oh and to everyone reading this who is happy – Congratulations! I mean that from the bottom of my heart. You are so lucky!
Are you out there my prince? Come rescue me, please! And now I think of it – what if I’ve met the person I’m destined to be with (if there is such a thing) and I passed up the opportunity? What if I already walked away from it? Ahh – I need a drink!
I know how you feel. I’m 22 and feel that many of the boys today are very immature and it is sad. That’s why I used to enjoy hanging out with Michael. I know it has been said before, but he is the sweetest, nicest guy that I know and I could only hope that the man that I end up with is similar to him. I really look up to Michael and I admire how well he treats his women friends.
It is a crying shame that it ends up like this. Is this all that there is to look forward to? Stupid boys who strut around thinking they’re the shit? Who don’t have the mental maturity to handle an adult relationship?
What’s even worse is that even many of the older men that I meet are either 1) creepy or 2) just out to get their last hurrah in and fuck a young woman before their penis become unusable. Why does it always have to revolve around sex? WHY? What ever happened to romance? And, as RollerGirl points out, whatever happened to chivalry?
I want to be in a loving relationship. I am so tired of the idiocy and being pawed at because I have long hair, breasts and a vagina. I want someone to love me and hold my hand when we walk; someone to tell me that I’m beautiful and look at me in the eyes when we talk. Someone who is honest and who won’t say after the first or second date ‘I love you’. Someone who is willing to work on a relationship just as hard as I am.
22. Single. Tired of it. I know that there will be people who say that I’m still young and that I have a lot to look forward to. That’s all great but I don’t want to end up on that continuously movng carousel of dating Hell. I don’t want to be stuck in some lopsided friendship that suddenly turns sour because he says he loves me and the feeling isn’t reciprocated.
I’m lucky to have met one man who has restored my belief that there is someone like him out there for me. Perhaps I’m asking for too much. But at least I know someone like him exists.
I still miss you, Michael. You’re one of the good guys.
Men have it just as bad with kooky women, you know. However, my heart goes out to you ladies. It can be a long, rough journey finding someone that you find suitable.
And what would you do if you find yourself falling for someone and that person is already taken?
Ugh. I know the feeling.
All my friends are getting married…I’m just getting drunk.
I decided though that maybe I am actually better by myself.
I figure if focus on making me a better person (mind you I didn’t say prettier, thinner or any of that other bullshit), the rest will fall into place.
If not, oh well.
Now if you’ll excuse me I have Creme Brulee icecream with my name on it.
Oh, Love, I know. Trust me, I know. I’m into my mid-30’s now and it doesn’t get any easier. It also doesn’t get any worse.
Whatever you do, take my advice and don’t just settle. You’ll probably go through dozens of men and friendships, but you shouldn’t settle for something second rate when you know that there’s someone.
I’ve had maybe two people in my life that I think I should have married. But hindsight is 20/20. And a certain man named Michael didn’t have that kind of interest in me. And he didn’t appreciate being stalked (but he did help me get help! such a sweetheart!).
Seeing people get married, start families and the like can be very depressing. Then again, it is true that the grass is greener on the other side. They may be looking at you wishing that they could be single again. 25/26 is still pretty young.
And, if you’re a friend of Michael’s I’m going to guess you’re a pretty young thing, aren’t you 😉
Just remember that you should be picky.
Here’s a good question for RollerGirl: What are you looking for in a man? And have you met anyone that comes close to what you’re looking for?
I always find this kind of post interesting because it seems so universal. I’ve felt this way countless times – when I didn’t have a girlfriend in my teens, in my twenties and now in my thirties.
RollerGirl & Sidney – there will be times when you go through these lulls. I’ll admit that it is really hard finding quality people that you want to spend time with, much less start a long lasting relationship with. But take my advice: when you do meet someone like that, let them know and don’t play games. That’s where things normally get messed up.
One point to ponder, though, is that when you say a few months down the road the person changes are you sure that it isn’t you who has changed?
As far as chivalry goes, it seems like it is a long lost art. Very few men practice it these days and, as others have said, it is a shame.
I embrace being single.I like being single. I don’t want the drama, miscommunications and baggage having to deal with extended families.
Then again, I’ll probably die alone.
Someone hold me.
I think that everyone feels this way at one point or another. I mean, who doesn’t want someone to hug and to hold during lightning storms or have their feet rubbed while reading the Sunday paper on a lazy afternoon?
However, are you looking for fulfillment because others are getting married and having kids or are you looking to make yourself happy? Or is it both?
Sometimes you end up looking way too hard for something and it could be right in front of your face. Or behind you. Possibly in the fridge behind the yogurt. You know what I mean.
I hate to say ‘enjoy life while you’re young’ but, you know, its sorta true. When you find the right person you’ll know. I go back to something I said in another post – there are about 7 billion people in the world so the thought of a single ‘soulemate’ is just plain zany.
BTW – young guys suck at both chivalry and romance. Oh, don’t even get me started on the whole ‘sex’ thing. I take it back. It isn’t just young guys. It is like the last generation or two who have sort of lost any sense of romance. Sad.
Liz – thanks for not stalking me anymore. You know I love you 🙂
OmnivorousPlant – I’ll hold you…around your neck.
I’ll see if I can get RollerGirl. to post a response to your questions.
[…] I had my friend that I called ‘RollerGirl’ post something on my blog titled “Life and Love…or not…“. Man, after a while that nickname starts getting on my nerves. From here on out she will be […]