My Body Is A Temple. I Suppose It’s Time For An Exorcism.

Mmmm...Batter Blaster
Mmmm...Batter Blaster
I went to my physical last Friday. Guess what? High blood pressure and they suspect that I have poor cholestoral readings. And I could lose a few pounds. Nothing makes you feel self-conscious like a female doctor with her nurse practitioner in training telling you that you have to drop weight all the while your ass is hanging out the back end of an ill fitting hospital gown.

Go and figure that one of the items that they pick up on is the fact that my eating habits are questionable.

Sure. Go ahead. Point and waggle your finger at me and remind me that I’m bringing this upon myself. I CAN’T HELP IT!! I love acting on impulse and eating what could be considered absolute crap. For instance, when I found the Batter Blaster Pancake/Waffle Mix in a spray can I was overjoyed! IT WAS IN A CAN LIKE WHIPPED CREAM!! The novelty of it was too much to resist. I had to have it. And I did!

Shake the can! Turn the can over! Spray the batter onto a warm pan or griddle! Eat! And then…make a face displaying your disappointment at how craptacular it came out. The pancakes were thin and flimsy. It was depressing. I should have listened to Clare when she told me not to do it. I did discover that although the pancakes were pretty lackluster when you use the Batter Blaster with a waffle iron they come out pretty darn good. Slap on some butter and some maple syrup and you’re in business. The only thing better would be to add a little flavor to the waffle. No, not some strawberries or blueberry campote with whip cream. We’re talking some good old fashioned Bacon Waffles.

Can you hear that? That's my heart exploding in my body.
Can you hear that? That's my heart exploding in my body.
Which brings us to our next destination: Eggspectations in Fairfax. You can get some pretty unique food here. I opted to get the Construction Pancake: A layered high rise of pancakes, sausage, bacon and grilled potatoes. This thing was nothing short of insanely amazing and disgusting at the same time. The construction of this thing was, from the ground up

  • One big, fluffy pancake
  • Two juicy sausages
  • Another big, fluffy pancake
  • Three slices of bacon
  • A final big, fluffy pancake
  • Throw some thick cut home fries all over the plate
  • Serve butter and maple syrup on the side. Oh, who are we kidding? You know we’ll just throw that on there, too.

I was kind of proud of myself for eating it 🙂 Afterwards, though, I felt a little buyer’s remorse and cursed myself for eating the whole thing. Angela drove home and I briefly slipped into a food coma.

What makes it even better was that the day before the physical Angela ordered us pizza for dinner. The day after? We hit the Herndon Festival where I wrestled with a foot long corn dog and funnel cake.

Ok, maybe the doctor has a point.