So…this is the first time in about 10 years that I don’t have employees to dawdle over. I miss it. I mean, I REALLY miss it. Every year was different, even when I wasn’t in charge – I would buy my co-workers/employees non-denominational holiday ornaments, organize a voluntary gift exchange and most likely take them out to an all expenses paid lunch/dinner/happy hour. This year I don’t have that. And for the first time in a long time at work I feel alone.

Having voluntarily quit my lucrative job with Lockheed Martin at the end of September I’ve accepted a job with a firm in Bethesda (the infamous 2 hour commutes) as well as a position in Sterling. We all know the benefits that I enjoy in Sterling – each day I get to go home and take care of my pooches, I save about 7k annually, I’m in Virginia, etc. And I really enjoyed working with the firm in Maryland. It seems as if given enough time I could have built a culture within that company that nobody would have expected.

But now I have nothing. No “Yankee Gift Exchange” for my employees, no making sure that there is one large, expensive surprise for someone and no getting everyone together. I’m way too new in my current position in Sterling and I left too early to cement the types of bonds that I’m used to when I was in Bethesda.

I suppose that when you think about it I’m very maternal. I specialize in motivating others, making them loyal or forget that they are just small bit players in a bigger machine. But now I have no real emotional attachment to either job. I have nobody to dawdle fover. I have nobody clinging to my apron strings.

Professionally, I am now alone. And neither employer really knows the extent of my abilities. It makes me sad. It makes me nostalgic. It makes me long for days gone by.