If Only I Were Smitten Things Could Get Interesting

I was reading through Crunch Gear and came across
Smittens – mittens for lovers.
Ooooh! Cozy! Smittens! The mittens for lovers!

Oddly enough, these things are available through one of my favorite stores, Restoration Hardware.

Ok, really? REALLY?

Trust me, I love my wife, Angela, but if we were to ever use these things I would expect us to have matching outfits. Oh, and she’d have to be dragging my lifeless body along with her because, after being forced to put those things on, I would have killed myself.

On the flipside (I’m Filippino! Get it? ‘Flip-side’?!), should I not off myself I imagine that we would get on each others nerves and we would wind up as the two guys fighting in Michael Jackson’s ‘Beat It’ video.