Angela and I went out to dinner tonight. Oh, it was interesting to say the least. Let’s just get some info out in the open: I like women. Keep in mind, I’m not a perv and I’m sure every other guy out there is saying ‘duh, dumbshit’. But no, I love women. Not in the manner that says ‘oooooooooh, I wanna have sex with her’. Just an appreciation that there are some beautiful women out there. My wife understands (God bless her) and realizes that I’m not about to do something stupid an irrational to jeopardize our marriage. I just enjoy the beauty of women. Period. I don’t descriminate on size, shape, or color. Maybe on intelligence. Definitely on hygiene.
So we go out to dinner and we’re talking about how I’m going to be unemployed in a few days. In order to cheer me up, she gives me the good old “Be happy! There will probably be cute waitresses!”. I was a little surprised. Exactly how shallow did this woman that has been my partner for the past 5 or so years think I am?? We walk in through the doors and wait to be seated. I mean, come on – this is a Chili’s we’re talking about here. Nothing special or fancy. When the hostess finally comes to sit us down it just happens to be … a very, very cute blond girl wearing tight fitting clothes over a very slender, athletic body. Yay! Angela and I tend to call these cute girls/women we run across as ‘bunnies’. I have absolutely no idea why. However, if you ever hang out with me and all of a sudden you hear me say ‘ooooh! bunnies!’ then there will probably be an attractive woman close by.
As we’re sitting down having dinner, my eyes wander about. Our hostess walks by repeatedly however she doesn’t make eye contact with me. Which means that any type of good natured flirting is doomed to failure. Then I realize something horrific: I’m 35 and she’s probably no more than 18. Oh, dear God. I’m old.
At what point do young people no longer find older people attractive? I mean, I’ve seen some pretty depressing old people but come on. I’m not that old. Has it turned out that I’ve lost my ability to effectively flirt?! NOOOOOO! MY SUPER POWER CANNOT BE LEAVING ME! OH, PLEASE NO!! I’M ALREADY WALKING OUT ON MY JOB! DON’T TAKE THIS FROM ME!!!
I mean, I’ve seen several people in their 30’s who are absolutely gorgeous. But when does age finally set in and older teens/twenty somethings no longer find you to be a cheeky monkey? And when does it become absolutely pathetic when a 35 year old man finds the need to have to flirt with every cute girl who walks by? Face it – women hold ALL the cards and can dictate whether a man’s ego will either be uplifted or crushed beneath her boot. Is this why older men buy Corvettes?
Is it just that I’m not attractive enough for women to notice anymore?!?!
Yes, yes. I know. “anymore”. You’re thinking “did they ever think that at all?”. Screw you. This is my fantasy world in my mind.
Sigh…bunnies.
I notice you
Bugger! I tried a different smilie and it cut off my post! This is what I originally meant to post~~
I notice you 🙂
I think it is a figment of your imagination. So one woman didn’t glance in your direction. Maybe she doesn’t realize how much more interesting and fun older men are. As the old saying goes ~~it takes different strokes to move the world, yes it does~~ You are not old. You are just a few years older than I am, so you ARE NOT OLD 😉
Although I am sure that some women may think that you are a scoundrel for constantly being on the lookout for attractive women I think that it is quite endearing. There are very few men out there who actually have the balls to tell a woman she is attractive or beautiful and you know exactly how to make that approach without being creepy. I believe that it is because you are genuine and women immediately know that you are a harmless, adorable, lovable teddy bear.
With no disrespect to Angela (thank you for not blatantly calling me a ‘whore’, dear ;)) Liz and I have had discussions in the past about what your life would be like if you were still single. We both agreed that you still probably wouldn’t have many mates as friends and that most of the people you would hang around with would be women. We also had a debate with Cammy about how much ass you would be getting.
We all know that you have a talent, hon. And I encourage you to pass that talent along to other young and clueless in the hopes of creating a mighty battillion (purposely) of budding hitch-like will smiths. I don’t think your age has much to do with it, but I also think there is a difference in flirting with a more naive 18 yr old than a 22 yr old. Late teens I think are still discovering their own sexual power, may not have the confidence built up yet, may not know their own strength. A flirty comment is more likely to make then blush than engage you as a possible challenger.
And Ashleigh, you’re welcome. Just because I don’t like you doesn’t mean I should be an ass.
I don’t think you’re old, honey. Well, not too old. Well you don’t have an iron lung, sweetie. You just have a knack for being able to talk to women. It is truly a lost art and it is intriguing how you start off making a woman comfortable and then you get in their heads so that they let all their inhibitions go. This is why you were the Big Brother of two opposing sororities! These days it is hard for us ladies to find a male companion to confide in without fear of being hit on. When you do it, it is almost innocent and natural because we KNOW that you’re not going to do something stupid. I am sure that your wife knows if you’ve held someone else’s hands, hugged someone else or even potentially kissed another woman. I am also sure that she is secure enough to know that you are like that with most of your friends.
And I will be honest with you, honey. Sometimes a woman needs that from a man, even if he is just a friend. I like to be told that I’m attractive by someone that I know isn’t trying to stick his dick in me. It is more honest and genuine that way, even if you say you’re a pig. I know that deep down, for all of your talk and bravado, you are the nicest man that I know. For shame on any woman that thinks otherwise.
Angela, don’t worry. I know you’re being polite and saying you don’t have to be an ass to Ashleigh. I’ll be your proxy! Ashleigh, you’re a 5 quid whore! You know I love you!
[…] The mall. We went to the mall. This place is virtually a Bunny Buffet. The only bad thing about it? Most of the time ogling a bunny at the mall would land you in jail as they are typically teens. And the worst part of this teen age phenomenon? For the most part I CAN’T TELL HOW OLD THE YOUNG GIRLS ACTUALLY ARE! Which makes me feel like a dirty old man at times. A dirty, old man who is paranoid that just by thinking a young woman is attractive the FBI is about to pounce on me. […]
[…] I am a marketing person’s dream. Especially when it comes to food. I’m not talking about your high class cuisine here – not caviar or cheeses whose name I can’t pronounce or nouveau cuisine. I’m talking good old junk food, fast food and anything that might come in weird packaging or colors. I swear this will somehow be the death of me. Death by shitty food. Great. So much for my ultimate dream of death by scantily clad bunnies. […]
[…] As you can see, this virtual world is filled with a lot of bunnies. Yes, there are men, too, but they tend to be less interesting. I felt like I was walking across a college campus filled with bunnies. It is worthy to note, though, that I didn’t see any fat or chubby people. There were some furries and strangely dressed people but, for the most part, everyone was slender or athletically built. Granted, it is ‘Your World. Your Imagination’, but is there really something wrong with representing yourself realisticly? Meh. Probably not going to happen. After going through the motions of logging into Second Life you are dropped into an area where you are taught the basics of the world. It is a pretty decent tutorial that shows you how to look around, grab objects, interact with others and more. It is especially handy when you are taught how to control the camera and perform a 360 degree view of a person or object. […]