Work with me here. I know some of you smoke. I’ll be honest – when I drink I occaissionally smoke maybe a cigarette, possibly a cigar. I also know some of you have kids. I know some of you even have kids who smoke (teens, not toddlers). I also know that those of you with young children are trying to save them from the ill effects of second hand smoke.

I live in the great state of Virginia in the United States of America. Over the past four years there have been initiatives underway to ban smoking from restaurants. In Maryland and the District of Columbia they’ve already passed bans on smoking in restaurants. Patrons are happy, people no longer smell of smoke when going out and all of the segregated seating has been abolished. There are no special tables for customers who want to smoke, away from those that don’t. All seating is equal.

Still with me? Good. I propose that they bring that seating back.

The theory is simple: people with children avoided the smoking areas of the restaurants like the plague. That meant two very important things

• there was always a little extra seating if you could put up with the smoke
• there were no children

If a smoking ban takes place then please make them child-free zones. I like going into a restaurant and saying ‘I’ll take a smoking table’ and going straight in while others are standing around waiting for a smoke-free table. I like that there are rarely, if any, children there so that I could eat without yelling or crying or someone misbehaving.

Listen, we all make decisions with our lives. If you have children, great. More power to you. You have my utmost admiration. Me? I don’t have children right now by choice. But why should I have to suffer through my meal when your kids are throwing a temper tantrum or talking loudly?

Newsflash – everyone doesn’t like kids.

Much like people don’t like how smoking ruins their dining experience, I don’t like children ruining mine. I don’t like them running around, I don’t like them kicking or bouncing in the booth behind me, I don’t like them whining. You don’t like someone killing themself by lighting up a cig, I don’t like someone with bad parenting skills.

All I’m asking is that if you take away smoking areas then convert them to child-free zones. Toss me a bone, here, folks. Something like the Victoria and Alberts at the Grand Floridian at Walt Disney World.