You know, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be a woman. Think about it: in the war of the sexes throughout the ages there used to be only a very few people who actually knew what it would have been like to be both a woman and a man (the prime example is the Oracle Tieresias). Of course medical science has come a long way and these days it is relatively easy for someone to change their gender. But that’s not what I’m talking about. What I’m talking about is what would I be like if I were born a girl?

Men have wondered this privately. To utter it aloud would be sacriledge amongst other men. And, honestly, even if a guy did say it out loud he’d have the most obiviously chauvanistic things to say:

• I’d feel my boobs all day
• I’d be the biggest slut
• I would make men pay for everything

but we all know that that isn’t true. That is just bravado speaking and not the voice of experience. Would I have been a pretty girl growing up? Popular? Unpopular? Would I have been as smart or smarter than I am now? What would my friends have been like? What would my relationship with my parents have been like? How would I react to unwanted advances by men? What would my views on the world be? How would I dress?

Trust me, I’m glad I’m the foul mouthed, ass scratching guy that I am. I’m just wondering what life would have been like if I didn’t have that Y chromosome from the beginning.