READ THE F*CKING LABEL!

This post isn’t directed at anyone. This is all me.  Those of you that know me personally can testify that this is something that I would actually do. You know. Because I’m the hotsex.

The other morning I was rushing while getting ready to go to work. I was behind by about 10 minutes and traffic becomes a real pain if I’m off even by a few seconds.  So I shower, get dressed, wrestle with my neck tie and pretty much give up trying to fix my hair ‘just the way I want it’. Today, people at work are going to have to deal with me looking like an angry Macy Gray.

So, I’m rushing around and I think to myself “They always say you shouldn’t skip breakfast. I better stuff something in my mouth.” As I’m getting my brief case, wallet, cell phone, PSP, various badges, raincoat and other work stuff together I reach into the fridge to grab one of the many, many little yogurt cups that I bought.

As an aside, Angela thought I was nuts when I bought all this yogurt. I got used to eating it when I was in North Carolina because I didn’t think I was getting enough dairy products and calcium in my diet. So there was this great sale at the market – 10 for $4. I bought various flavors: strawberry banana, peach, blueberry, strawberry, etc. The top shelf of my fridge was full of yogurty goodness.

So I reach into the fridge and grab the first cup that my grubby little fingers can wrap themselves around. I rip off the top, stab a spoon in it and shove it in my mouth.

Did I forget to mention that I also bought a small container of sour cream? And that the sour cream container is the same size and shape as the yogurt?

I didn’t want Angela to realize what a moron I am so I quietly wept and gagged with my mouth white and frothy from sour cream.  I just kept quietly making a poopy face and saying softly “Blah! Blah! Blah! Blarrrrrgh!”.

Let this be a lesson to you, kids: read the labels.