Why does this always happen to me?

Oh, man. Today, I really had to use the bathroom. REALLY had to use the bathroom. Three cups of coffee, a diet Pepsi and a diet Coke later, my bladder was full beyond belief and I needed to wizz like a horse.  I started getting one of those really anxious feelings of ‘Am I even going to make it to the bathroom in time??’. Nevermind the fact that I was in a meeting. I really needed to go and my legs were bouncing up and down under the table like the finely tuned pistons of a sports car. My meeting finally broke and I praised the Lord that it did.
So, I make my way to the mens room. Two men at the urinals. Two men in the stalls. I have to wait. I could feel my face starting to heat up and sweat. I was starting to get dizzy and thoughts of grabbing one of the fellows at the urinal by his collar and yanking him away crept into my mind. Lucky for him he finished. FINALLY! MY TURN AT THE URINAL! HUZZAH!! I briskly unzipped my pants with the anticipation of finally relieving myself when all of a sudden I ran into one more (albeit minor) stumbling block: I put my underwear on backwards this morning.

I thought I was about to die when I couldn’t …you know.  I swear that I almost peed in my pants when I got around to figuring out what happened. Literally. As soon as I freed ‘myself’ and got to pee, everything was right with the world.

Yeah, I don’t care if you make fun of me. This is life and these are some of the boneheaded things I do. Love me for who I am.