Man, I Wish I Was A D-List Celebrity

The world is full of crazy. I’m a down to earth fellow; I’m pretty mellow. For those of you who like to stereotype you could even call me yellow. What gets me, though, is that for all of my sanity, hard work, and Dudley Do-Right attitude about life I am just ‘normal’. Which is ok, I suppose. But how cool would it be if I got my name in the paper for something like this?

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20266492,00.html

Project Runway‘s Kenley Collins Arrested for Assault

Originally posted Wednesday March 18, 2009 05:25 PM EDT

Kenley Colliins Photo by: Jay Sullivan / Bravo
Project Runway's Kenley Collins Arrested for Assault

Talk about a big Mac attack.

Project Runway season 5 finalist Kenley Collins was arrested in Brooklyn Tuesday after allegedly attacking a male with a laptop.

According to the New York Police Department, Collins, 26, remembered by Runway fans for her brash manner and 1940s style, was charged with two counts of assault, criminal possession of a weapon and harassment after potentially striking a male in the head and face with a computer.

According to earlier reports from TMZ.com, the reality star allegedly attacked her sleeping ex-fiancé with her pet cat, water, several apples and the laptop. The Web site also reports that Collins is currently being held in jail.

Calls to Brooklyn county clerk’s office were not immediately returned, and attempts by PEOPLE to identify Collins’s attorney were not successful.

She attacked her boyfriend. With her cat.

A cat.

I don’t think neither me nor Angela would get in the news for attacking one another with our cat. Exactly how did Kenley attack with her cat? Did she swing it by it’s tail like a nunchucks? That would be sorta cool. Every time the cat would swing by you’d hear ‘Reeeooooowwrrrrrr! Ffft! Ffft!’

Having watched Project Runway with Angela, you can sort of understand the kind of crazy that this woman is. But to report that she’s got legal troubles…WHY COULDN’T I GET MEDIA COVERAGE WHEN I GOT MY SPEEDING TICKET??

Warhol said that everyone will get their 15 minutes of fame. Dammit, when does my clock start ticking?

If you’ll excuse me, Angela is upstairs asleep right now. I’m going to go see about dropping the cat on her…