There are several deal breakers in a relationship.
- You’re ugly
- Your potential mate doesn’t bathe/brush their teeth
- They punched your grandma in the neck
- Once urinated on your pillow
- Failed to save you from a mob of zombies
- Had problems communicating
Yeah, it is that last little item that sort of took me be surprise. ‘Problems communicating’ can come in many forms but the one that really stunned me recently was something as simple and basic as being both intrigued and repulsed by someone’s voice.
A few months ago Angela and I were in a store out here in Sterling. Now, I won’t tell you which store it was because I don’t want anyone running over there to see if they can find out who I’m talking about. Let’s just say that this store is a DEPOT of sorts for hardware and building materials for the HOME. *wink-wink*. We went walking in looking for some compact flourescent light bulbs or something. As made our way down one of the main aisles I spied a very attractive young woman. She had long hair, an absolutely adorable face and a KICK ASS body. It was hard to not try and sneak a glimpse of her because she was such an attractive woman.
As we walked past her two of her co-workers walked up to her and started joking with her. And that’s when it happened…
[youtube width=”325″ height=”265″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQjUV9oAB5s[/youtube]
…she opened her mouth and it was an absolute shock to the system. The voice didn’t match the body.
In all seriousness, the voice didn’t match any human body. It was more of a match for a cartoon character. In fact, it was more of a match for ‘Skeeter’ from the cartoon ‘Muppet Babies’ (32 seconds into the following clip). Skeeter, Scooter’s sister who was never part of the original Muppet Show. Skeeter, the orange dread locked humanoid voiced by none other than Howie Mandel.
The oddity of the entire thing turned my mind to mush for the rest of the trip. Over time, I forgot about it. That is until a few weeks ago when we went back to that store to pick up some paint and paint supplies. My siren – nay, my muse! – was working. In the paint section. For all intents and purposes, it was marvelous. There she was, dressed in her form fitting jeans and sweater, mixing paint and giving direction to customers. Really, she was quite a cute site to see.
Which brings me right back to my former post about Naked People. Sure, it might sound lame and stupid but I already put it out there: I wonder what people look like under their clothes and I’ve also wondered what they’re like while having sex.
The thought of her talking dirty or moaning in ecstasy sent me into fits of laughter. “I flip through the aiiiiiir!”. Oh, my. That just brought a naughty smile to my face.