Who needs your lyrics anyways? I’ll make up my own.

Let me preface this by stating that, yes, I’m getting older, my memory is fading and I’m probably slowly losing my hearing. All the things that make me attractive to the opposite sex, no?

Let me also toss out there that I am absolutely terrible with remembering song lyrics. More often than not if I’m in a car listening to whatever is on the radio I’ll sing along to maybe 4-5 words of a chorus and end the rest of it with ‘hmmmm-hmmmm-hmmmm-hmmmm’ to the melody, ignorantly content that I know at least that much. I’m horrible with lyrics. I can barely remember how to get home from work some days and you expect me to remember every lyric to all the songs I like? Not happening. Hell, this is compounded by the fact that my hearing is shit, too.

Here’s a perfect example:

Katy Perry’s “Dark horse” came out at the end of 2013/beginning of 2014. I thought it was pretty darn catchy. I never saw the video so I had no idea what was going on. As I sat in traffic it came on while I was listening to the most recent songs from the UK Top 40. I had no idea what my brain was thinking but for about 4 months I kept thinking Katy Perry would sing:

“So you want to play with my drink?”

While the actual lyric was:

“So you want to play with magic?”

Honestly. I didn’t know the real lyrics until I watched the official video and then looked up the words. See, the video in my head was of a woman who turned into a vigilante and who was seeking revenge over a man who slipped her a roofie while she was in a bar/club. It TOTALLY made sense to me.

The story I concocted was that she was pretty much a superhero in disguise who would frequent bars looking for men who preyed on women and slipped drugs in their drinks. She gets into a situation where a man is considering drugging her and she goes into her spiel – Do you really want to do this? You have no idea what the repercussions are going to be.

The guy slips the drug in her drink but then he blacks out as he sips his drink. Such is her super power. Next thing you know, she’s dressed in a slinky black leather outfit with the dude tied up in a kinky sex dungeon. Bada-boom-bada-bing.

I like my version better.