The Soundtrack To My Melancholy

I’ve been in a deep, blue funk for the past week. Aside from having the Chet Baker anthology on my iPhone (1953-1997), I’ve been on the Metro listening to music that helps me maintain that funk. You know how it goes – you gain momentum and you just can’t stop. In some weird, strange way you become friends with the emotional turmoil. I’ll eventually pop out of this wave sadness but until then I’m just going to keep on fueling it with songs like the following…

The Cure – Pictures of You
A lot of times, it isn’t necessarily the song but memories that the song evokes. I remember listening to this song over and over again after my first fiance passed away due to a heart ailment in 1993. I was absolutely distraught because all I had left were pictures of her. It is still painful. I try not to look at the pictures anymore. I’ve only been able to listen to this song for the past few years.

Annie Lennox – No More I love Yous
Again, the song draws so much emotion from the experience. My friend Whitney, who was a little obsessed with me, had this song playing in her car when I told her that it wasn’t possible for anything to work out between us. She committed suicided not long after and this song was recorded over and over on a CD that she had playing when she died.

Radiohead – No Surprises
What can I say? This is a song about suicide. “Ill take the quiet life, a handshake of carbon monoxide…” Woof.

Iron and Wine – Naked As We Came
Wow. Sooner or later either you or your spouse/significant other is going to die. How can you not get pensive and melancholy with lyrics like:
“One of us will die inside these arms
Eyes wide open, naked as we came
One will spread our ashes ’round the yard”

Jose Gonzalez – Heartbeats
I don’t know why I put this one in here. I fell in love with this song when I saw the Sony Bravia commercials. It was absolutely beautiful. Sometimes, though, I could listen to this and Nick Drake’s “Pink Moon” back to back, over and over again. And then I think about it and it turns into a song of betrayal.

Duran Duran – Someone Else Not Me
This song always makes me sad. It reminds me of me.

Chet Baker – Time After Time
I danced with Cammy to this song on the roof of a building once. I won’t say which building (in Rosslyn) but we were able to see almost every major monument. She was a great friend. I can still remember holding her close to me – her warmth, her smell, how she rested her head on my shoulder – while our cd player softly played Chet. This was one of those sad and sensual moments. Just over a year later she passed away.

Cary Brothers – Blue Eyes
Lilting. Sing-songy. Ideal song to sit and drink some scotch or whiskey to. By yourself. In the dark.

Jeff Buckley – Lover, You Should Have Come Over
Ok, the video I really don’t care about. And this version of the song is ‘ok’. However, there is an acoustic version of “Lover, You Should Have Come Over” that was filled with so much emotion. It was raspy and raw. The sorrow and longing in Buckley’s voice sounded like someone who had one too many cigarettes and glasses of whiskey. If you could find it, I suggest listening to that version. It is a little slower, too.

I promise: I’ll be out of this deep blue funk next week…