Dear Allison Stokke: I’m Sorry. Sorta.

Dear Allison,

I’ll admit it – I looked at your picture on the internet. I have absolutely no idea how I came across the article on the sports blog “With Leather”, but I did look at your picture and think to myself “Holy cow. 18?! She’s gorgeous.” And then I got curious and looked to see if there was any other information on you. There were, of course, the numerous other pictures and the growing pile of stories about you; the attention you’re getting from your pictures as well as your various achievements.

And there in lies the rub. You’re a very attractive person. In fact, of all the pictures that I’ve seen of you splashed across the internet those that I admire the most are the ones where you’ve just cleared the bar and you look like you’re so happy and that you don’t have a care in the world. Did I actually use the word ‘admire’? Yep. I admire you because you look like you’re having the time of your life at such a young age.

Let’s see…the last time I had a look of joy and contentment like that was when Angela bet that I couldn’t eat the rest of the stuffed crust pizza that we ordered. Oh, I did it. I did it and I smiled and I had this triumphant feeling like every fiber of my being was screaming ‘Booyah! Take that, sucka!’. And then I felt sick, like my arteries were clogging as I sat there moaning for Angela to roll me off the couch and to the bathroom.

But I digress. After I read the Washington Post article about how all of this attention has become overwhelming I felt conflicted. On the one hand, I find you absolutely intriguing. On the other hand, I don’t want you to feel like I’m one of the legion of stalkers drooling over your pics. I just find it absolutely amazing when people like you come along – beautiful, talented and smart.

So, I’m sorry that I looked at your pictures on the web. I just think that you’re pretty darn nifty. I don’t want to pretend you’re my girlfriend, peep on you in the shower or build either a physical or virtual shrine to you.

Best of luck to you at college and with your athletic career. I hope to read about your successes in the future.