So, the New Year has come. Angela has been here since just before Christmas and last night we went to Raleigh to celebrate New Year’s by going to a show called ‘Cirque Dreams’. It was, to say the least, interesting. We had seen several incantations of Cirque du Soleil. This was…uh…close. I’m used to hearing these things with a bunch of French singing but this let me see something similar but with English Lyrics.

Yeah. I’ll stick with the French.

So, we walked up and down Raleigh’s main street afterwards and enjoyed the foods that are staples of festivals – butterfly potatos (fresh chips), funnel cakes and gyros. We had a great time and we finally made it home at around 10:30. We had debated back and forth about whether or not to stay for midnight in Raleigh but I really had no desire to see them drop their ‘acorn’ at 12. That’s right. New York has either their crystal ball or glowing apple. Raleigh drops an acorn. And not from some high building, mind you. They lift this acorn up via a crane and then put it down again. Yay. My enthusiasm is overwhelming…

Which brings me to today, January 2. I have to go back to the job that I’m beginning to despise (more on that soon) and Angela is going back home. I didn’t want to go to sleep last night because I knew that sooner or later I would have to wake up and she would have to leave. I don’t want her to leave and I’m pretty crushed by it. I’ve been dreading this day since the day after Christmas.

I keep trying to do what she says – tell myself that this is for the greater good and that I just need to endure this for a little while longer until our house is built. But, honestly, I’m completely and utterly miserable down here. I’m homesick for all the places and people that I knew. Having Angela down here for a week was wonderful. My immediate family felt complete and there was a sense of comfort for both me and the dogs. By 9am, when I’m at work, she’ll be gone and we’ll be alone again. I always have a hard time whenever we part because I never want it to happen. The dogs get all confused, too. They look around for her whenever we go outside.

If work was different I might not feel this way. I would be throwing myself into my job because I enjoyed it and the people. Right now, I’m at an all time low. The people don’t care, why should I? As I said, more on this later. For those of you who know me and the way that I work you know that this is just bad.

I miss my wife. I miss my old life. I wish my dogs had a better place to live and run around. I just want my family back.