Percursor To My Thanksgiving Story

First things first – the following is a conversation between me and my wife via AIM.  Many of you who talk to me via instant messengers will quickly recognize that, yes, this is how I normally hold conversations online. In an event, this is the buildup for my Thanksgiving story that I’m sure will revolutionize the holiday and make it almost as big as Christmas, the Fourth of July or at least Arbor Day.

Keep in mind, when I say “Indian” in this conversation I mean “Native American”. And when I say “Native American” I mean “People Indigenous To North America Prior To The Arrival Of The Europeans”. “Indian” sure does seem shorter.
My Poor Wife: is it time to go home yet
Me: HA
Me: i have no home
Me: 🙁
My Poor Wife: you have 2
Me: i’m a nomad
Me: I follow the buffalo
My Poor Wife: uh
My Poor Wife: i dont know if i’d follow buffalo
My Poor Wife: they look stinky
Me: NO!
Me: they’re cute!
Me: Big, fuzzy cows!
My Poor Wife: buffalo?
Me: with GIGANTIC noses!
My Poor Wife: thats their faces
Me: yes!
My Poor Wife: they have huge faces
Me: and big humps!
Me: and teeny tiny butts!
My Poor Wife: um
My Poor Wife: are you sure you’re not thinking about a camel
Me: hehehehe
Me: fuzzy wuzzy
My Poor Wife: uh
Me: great
Me: now i want one
Me: no golden retriever.
Me: buffalo instead
Me: and i will name it
My Poor Wife: no.
Me: Tatanka!
Me: and
Me: and I will buy it lots of stuffed animals
Me: and legos
Me: and trucks and games
My Poor Wife: the only good buffalo:
Me: and they will be known as Tatanka Toys!
My Poor Wife: wow.
My Poor Wife: gee, uh look at the time
My Poor Wife: i think i have a meeting
Me: what?
Me: I will be known as ‘Dances with Tatanka’!
My Poor Wife: uh huh
Me: and my middle name will be ‘Carefully Watches Where He Steps’
My Poor Wife: how about “picks up poop of tatanka”
My Poor Wife: with tatanka backhoe
Me: Yay!
Me: finally!
Me: I get a ho!
My Poor Wife: “no body will notice me here- this is stealth buffalo”
Me: hehehe
Me: you know what probably sucks?
My Poor Wife: the food bill for one of those suckers?
Me: The Indian that actually named the buffalo ‘tatanka’
Me: probably had a stuttering problem and only wanted to call it ‘tanka’
My Poor Wife: hehehehe
Me: oh, but no
Me: stupid pale faces had to go running with it
Me: Angela’s people: Are you a Native American?
Me: Indian: Y-y-yes…
Me: Angela’s people: What is that large, cow-like animal
Me: Indian: Ta-tanka…
My Poor Wife: HEEEE!!!!
Me: Angela’s people: Tatanka?
My Poor Wife: im laughing like the ugly bird
Me: Indian: N-no..Ta-tanka!
Me: Angela’s people: Tatanka it is! George! Look at the Tatanka!
Me: Indian: *slaps forehead*
My Poor Wife: hehehehe
Me: Indian: S-s-s-stupids…

And so it begins. Tomorrow (or Thanksgiving Day, depending on how lazy I am) I will unleash upon the world the true meaning of Thanksgiving. Oh, and Clare…you were asking what I want for Christmas. There you go! Tatanka! Or is it Tanka??